06 . 21 . 15

in June, I had the wonderful pleasure of being able to serve as a counselor at my church's youth group camp. my main reason for going was to help lead the music each night at our evening meetings, but also to help serve the middle school campers that would hopefully experience some spiritual transformation during their 6 day stay at the beautiful plantation.

throughout the week, we studied different components of the Lord's Prayer. as Episcopalians, this is a prayer we say every Sunday in our service, and for most it has become part of our second nature. a lot of times we don't even think about what we're really saying, what we're actually asking God to do for us!

throughout the next few blog posts, I hope to share just a bit of what I learned, piece by piece.

{ "Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name ... }

read : Matthew 6:5-13 {The Lord's Prayer}

“And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

“This, then, is how you should pray:

“‘Our Father in heaven,

hallowed be your name,

your kingdom come,

your will be done,

   on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us today our daily bread.

And forgive us our debts,

   as we also have forgiven our debtors.

And lead us not into temptation,

   but deliver us from the evil one."

this first line of the prayer is really proclaiming who God is, and is really just focusing our minds and our coming requests to him. by first stating, “Our Father”, we are reminding ourselves of who we are talking to - it’s just our heavenly father who has lovingly adopted us into his amazing family. 

this is also our first petition to God - we’re asking that God be adored and praised and kept holy, not us. we’re about to approach an all-powerful God that knows us personally as our Father!

read : Romans 8:14-17

For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.

if we believe, we receive his spirit and have been adopted into God’s family.

read : 1 John 3:1

listen to : “How Deep the Father’s Love for Us”,

See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him.

and with all this said, we must have …

a prepared heart

motivation

humility

confidence

when we approach God in prayer.

in Christ,

a new beginning

ever since I attended the Discovery Summer Camp at the Governor's School for Arts and Humanities (SCGSAH), I knew that I wanted to delve into my God given talent and pursue this school as my future home.

and it was this day in February that changed my life.

via instagram (@/sydhuss)

after spending months in the studio, preparing two pieces and expanding my repertoire, the day that I had been awaiting for two years finally came. I had made the decision to apply for the two year, Residential High School at SCGSAH. ever since that first day on the Governor’s School campus in June of 2013, I just knew in my heart that this was an incredible opportunity that I wanted to pursue. the audition processes for each year only got more challenging, but with confidence and lots of prayer there was no turning back.

after a seemingly good audition (just keep reading!), the transition to life not thinking about the audition began and now I was focused on getting that letter in the mail. April 1.

the two-ish months that lay between my audition and the time frame that I was expecting my letter included a lot of thinking about my two “plans of action” - what I would do if I was accepted, and alternatively, what I would do if I wasn’t. I didn’t want to even think of not getting accepted as being an option. honestly, I was unhappy with a lot of aspects of my current school and I couldn’t imagine another two years there. yes, there were a handful of people that I love(d) and a group of select teachers that inspire(d) me and impacted my life in numerous ways, but in the long run, two more years would only cause me more pain. I had to hope and pray for the best, because no other opportunity like this would show itself.

spring break was grueling. every day, my group chat with the other girls I had auditioned with and gotten to know so well was buzzing, just waiting to hear who would open their mailboxes to find that letter in their mailbox. I remember the day the Governor’s School announced that all high school letters had been postmarked; us girls were trying to figure out who would get their letters on which day, both from experience but also from our proximity to the school.

day by day, as close friends opened their letters, my hope dwindled. each girl had gotten a letter, informing her that she had been placed on the waitlist. these were girls that I had heard perform and I was in shock; these girls were the ones that I had a gut feeling that they would be accepted and that this would be our incredible two years. each day, as I was reading their messages, I kept second guessing myself, trying to prepare myself for a similar scenario in which I would also be waitlisted. if I was so confident about them getting in, what about me?

my very best friend got her letter a day before me. her mom texted me that the letter had arrived and that she was on her way to meet my friend at school, to open it together in the school’s office. as I heard back from her, only a little while later, I was overjoyed to hear that the news had been joyful and much awaited - she was accepted and would be postmarking her “yes!” letter that day. there was no doubt in her heart. I had a glimmer of hope.

the thursday before good friday was a good day. I conveniently had a voice lesson that morning and rushed home afterwards to open my letter. as I ran to the mailbox, I said my last few prayers and had to believe that it was all planned.

I opened the mailbox and saw that long awaited 5x7 envelope with my name on it. I turned to my mom, and before opening it, told her that “I had gotten confetti.” standing in the driveway, my emotions and all my fears just pouring out, I was completely overjoyed. I would be joining my friend at the second best school in the state for an opportunity of a lifetime.

through my tears, I texted and called friends, sharing the good news; I thanked them for their endless support, for always believing in me, and for following me on this journey.

it’s been hard, having to prepare myself to say goodbye to some of the people who have changed my life, and knowing that I won’t see them every day. but, I know that I will be back and I look forward to the days that we will be able to share together and catch up on what life has brought us, I look forward to the many phone calls home, whether they’re to my mom or dad, or to close friends, hearing about their day or weeks at school, how life is treating them, and where they’re planning on heading.  

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory … // ephesians 3:20

xoxo

the number eight

it's amazing how God works in mysterious ways. how he sends us messages in different forms and allows us us to search and pray until we find him.

I know that, personally, it's so hard to listen to God when I have a million things going through my head ... what I need to study, the list of chores, work, and finding time for friends and family. and when I'm awaiting the arrival of a letter that could change my life, how could I not be more distracted?

back up three months from where this story really begins, after this important audition that I've gone through twice before (featured here); it was mid-March, days before I would get that life changing letter in the mail, before I would open the mailbox and take out the 4 x 6 envelope that would be filled with confetti and "Congratulations!". up until this day, I was having a lot of second thoughts about how well I did and if my application would go through. I knew that I was up against a lot of other talented singers from across the state, and I got to the point where I needed to pull myself down off the high of positivity I had been on.

it was a sunny day in a beautiful church.

I was in Columbia for a vocal competition. after performing and going through sight reading, there were a lot of negative vibes flowing through our women's choir, thanks to the mediocre performance and sight reading session. after finding a place in the church to sit and listen, I simply tried to block out the negativity and listen to the remaining groups that still needed to perform.

and all of a sudden, I thought of the number 8. I didn't think much of it until I couldn't stop thinking of the number, as it was prominent in my mind and stayed on my mind the entire way home.

after returning home, I realized that I needed to look into the biblical/spiritual significance behind the number 8. there was some meaning to this number in my current state of life and I needed to figure out what it was.

and so, after turning to Google, a smile spread across my face, my jaw dropped, my questions were answered and I was put into a peaceful state of mind.

    in the bible, the number eight (broadly) signifies a new beginning.

    this one number filled me with confidence.

    it calmed my heart.

    it gave me hope and security.

God simply placed a number in my mind and urged me to look into the biblical significance. it filled me with peace, knowing that God had a new beginning in place for me, and it was my turn to be patient and learn what that new beginning was. that number gave me peace as I heard from my close friends about their letters, telling them they were placed on the waiting list or not accepted at all. and when I opened the mailbox on Good Friday, and placed my hands on the 4 x 6 envelope, I couldn't help but cry that my prayers had been answered and my new journey would begin.

I have to say, it was hard telling people that I felt God through simply a number; it almost seemed out of place and not a normal conversation between teenagers. but the friends and close family that I told, they couldn't help but smile when they realized that God does work in mysterious ways.

xx